Celebrating the parents who opt to adopt

Phaedra Trethan
The Courier-Post
Francesca Furfaro, 30, consoles her newly adopted son Domenico Furfaro, 18 months, Friday, Nov. 17, 2017 at the Camden County Surrogate's Office in Camden. Ms. Furfaro, who has already adopted two children, including Domenica's 3-year-old blood related sister Davina, plans to also adopt their blood related brother, 5-month-old Santino in January.

CAMDEN - The Furfaro family grew by two on Friday.

Francesca Furfaro made it official, becoming a mom in the eyes of the law to 5-year-old Mason and 18-month-old Domenico — even though, for all intents and purposes, she's been the only mother both boys have known.

And she's not finished adding to the family yet. Mason and Domenico joined 3-year-old Davina and, Furfaro hopes, the family will someday be complete when she adopts Santino, who's just 5 months old.

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Furfaro was at the Camden County Surrogate's Office in Camden on Friday, celebrating National Adoption Day and sharing her own story of fostering and adoption.

"I never expected to adopt four kids," she said, wrangling Davina, who seemed sleepy and in need of a nap, and Domenico, who with a wide, sweet smile offered a reporter his lollipop and a half-eaten Ritz cracker (the reporter declined).

Furfaro, a special education aide in the Winslow Township School District, said she's fostered 59 children in her Sicklerville home over the past six years — 52 boys and seven girls.

Surrogate Michelle Gentek-Mayer and her staff welcomed 34 children and their families Friday to her Market Street offices as part of an adoption support and awareness event. 

"Today we get to see happy tears instead of sad tears," said Gentek-Mayer, who noted the bulk of her office's work involves probate and estates.

According to NationalAdoptionDay.org, more than 110,000 children nationwide are in foster care and awaiting adoption. During last year's National Adoption Day, about 4,700 children were adopted by families in the United States, the website estimated.

Caleb Gonzalez, 2, sits at a table with his new family, including five sisters Friday, Nov. 17, 2017 at the Camden County Surrogate's Office in Camden.

Gentek-Mayer said there are 6,000 children in New Jersey who are in foster care and awaiting adoption. Many of those children, like the little Furfaro children, have parents who are struggling with addiction.

Three of the Furfaro children had the same biological parents, and while Francesca Furfaro said she communicates with their father, their mother suffered a fatal overdose in July. 

Her own support system has been crucial, Furfaro added, including her father, stepmother and cousin. "They've always been there to help, to keep the kids busy and give them something to do; there's always a last-minute babysitter," she smiled.

Her house is chaotic, she admitted: "It's like Toys 'R' Us, there are clothes and things everywhere," and she keeps a busy schedule of school, activities, therapy and doctor's visits for all of the children.

The older children are, the more difficult it is to find them adoptive families, Gentek-Mayer noted. As a foster mother, Furfaro has noticed older children are more aware of the trauma they've endured.

She wishes she could do more, she said. "My heart is so big, I'd take them all in if I could."

Gentek-Mayer, a mother of five in a blended family, said her staff is able to see the rewards of their work on National Adoption Day. The average wait for a child in foster care to be adopted is three years. The adoption process itself can take anywhere from a few months when it's uncontested or when parents surrender their rights, to 18 months or longer if there is still a chance of reunification.

Francesca Furfaro, 30, holds her adopted daughter Davina Furfaro, 3, Friday, Nov. 17, 2017 at the Camden County Surrogate's Office in Camden. Davina was adopted a year ago and her blood related brother Domenico, 18 months, is now joining them after today. Ms. Furfaro plans to also adopt their other blood related sibling Santino, 5 months, in January.

Still, the surrogate said, "I'm amazed every year to see all these families open their hearts."

For Furfaro, wrangling four children under age 6 isn't always easy. But she shows as much patience and love as any mom, and beamed with pride as adults made a fuss over each of her tow-headed toddlers.

And, as Domenico's shirt read, "Even Superman was adopted."

Phaedra Trethan: @CP_Phaedra; 856-486-2417; ptrethan@gannettnj.com